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Wild Irish Rose
18% alc. by vol.
 
     The thorn in your hangover is a wild rose from Ireland.  Bottled by Canandaigua Wine in Chanadaigua, NY, the same company as Cisco.  Like its brother Cisco, "Wild I" definitely has some secret additives that go straight to the cranium.  Another web page claims that this foul beverage is a conspiracy by the republicans to kill the homeless.  Bums ask a liquor store clerk for Wild Irish rose by saying, "gimme a pint of rosie with a skirt," a skirt being a paper bag.  Some don't want it cold either.  It's called "wild" for a good reason, and bystanders should beware.  Wild Irish Rose is sure to light a fire of drunken rage in your soul.  A guy named "Richards" is mentioned on the label.
 
 
     A helpful viewer named Carl wrote an email directing our attention this web page that claims that "Richard's Wild Irish Rose (named after his son, Canandaigua's current president Richard Sands)."  The "White Label" variety of this beverage is definitely a hard wine to come to terms with.  "White Label" smells like rubbing alcohol, and has no added flavoring to mask its pungent taste and noxious odors.  Avaliable in 375 mL, 750 mL, and a 50 oz jug.
 
 
     Field reporter "Greyham" brings us this report:  Here is Wild I's devastating new addition, "Wild Fruit with Ginseng".  I'll be honest with you: the normal Wild I has turned into some sort of fierce energy drink gone wrong mixed with the original to create a bumworthy migraine-inducing concoction.  I purchased a 750 mL which goes for 3.99 and a 375 mL which goes for 2.59 (at least here in FL).  Word on the streets here is that the bums are wary of it.  I talked to a couple that said they'd prefer to "stick with what's tried and true".  Apparently they haven't accepted it yet as the real deal.  As for me, I drank the 375mL on a semi-full stomach and was just ruined by the stuff.  The flavor retains it's same potent Wild I nastiness but has a whole new bouquet of fruity flavor added as well (potentially aimed at bums of the female persuasion).  Upon completion of the 375, I was thoroughly inebriated and found myself honestly wondering where my next fix of the stuff was going to come from.  This scared me so I immediately started drinking water....here's the best part.  After that relatively small bottle, I didn't piss until the next evening despite drinking copious amounts of water.  There is DEFINITELY something in this stuff that dehydrates you...possibly the "ginseng" or whatever it is that they added to this already foul stuff.
     Bumwine.com wrote Chapter 23 of this book: